Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Did you know there are really 24 hours in a day?

I do now. I know those hours differently than before, because now I could be awake for any one of them. I should probably be careful here, because deep down, I suspect that my baby may be on the angelic side of the spectrum and there are probably people with far more cause to complain out there. But wow! Motherhood is not for the weak.

A few days ago, Andrew and I were musing on how our baby could possibly be three weeks old (crazy!), when I confessed that in some ways it seems like more than three weeks had passed. Andrew, without missing a beat, said, "That's because we've been awake for most of them."

And it's TRUE. We HAVE been awake most of that time. We sleep in one to two hour stretches and increasingly often we have three hour sessions. It is blowing my mind that a person can live like this, but I am living (I think this qualifies as living). Mom has reminded me that sleep deprivation is a torture technique and so perhaps that means I'm even more inclined to give up any secrets I might have been keeping. I have promised her that soon I'm going to make use of my breast pump in order to take a longer break, but somehow I'm not quite ready yet.

These last few weeks have been a continuous loop with only a few notes: feeding, sleeping, changing and some staring at each other and rocking. I don't know if it's possible to convey how incredibly engrossing these tasks have become. Superficially, it seems quite simple and in theory a person should be able to function normally. Oh, but did I mention that we haven't yet mastered the art of sleeping out of arms or really even away from someone? Don't get me wrong, we see remarkable improvement each day, but we started with a cuddly baby who loves to be held and we have a cuddly baby who loves to be held.

Have I mentioned how fond she is of eating? She is definitely her mother's daughter and heck she's also her father's daughter in this aspect. The kid loves to eat and she doesn't just eat: she dines. Casually taking her time, she eats for twenty to forty minutes at a time. Occasionally, she eats so long she wants to eat again. (Yes, that's technically cluster feeding and is a normal practice before longer sleeps or when trying to get more milk to come in). Breastfeeding is also not for the weak. I see how those with less conviction could end up formula feeding.

Speaking of eating, Andrew has arrived home with dinner and our baby is at the end of a sleep. I better dash to dine while I can.


  1. Re: feeling like it's more than three weeks - a friend once remarked (after me confusing what month it was in those early days...) that with a brand new baby, you've gone to sleep and woken up enough times for it to actually be a whole other month. I found that a helpful thing to think about when Coleman would look up from gazing at our child and say, "Can you believe it's been X days/weeks/months?" and I would want to scream, "YES!!!" And re: the breastfeeding - amen!! Who knew it was so difficult? I mean, it's beautiful and special and the perfect system for baby, but man it's tough on Mommy! You persevere with love, though, and ultimately God rewards you with tougher nips. Good luck!

  2. Amy Hudson KilpatrickApril 9, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    Oh, but breasfeeding is so rewarding (as I'm sure you're already finding!) And how self-righteous you get to be when you don't ever have to supplement!! By the bye, I NEED to know about the birth! Did it go as planned? I realize not everyone is interested in the gory details, but I sure am!